Eyebrows

Have you noticed young women’s eyebrows lately? A good percentage of millennials seem to have a permanent expression of surprise on their faces. Their eyebrows are enhanced and shaped to look like large, sleek caterpillars. There are even people who call themselves eyebrow technicians for goodness’ sake!

I was pondering the weighty issue of eyebrows the other day. So I did what any person living in the 21^st century does. I googled it. And what I discovered made me raise these ancient, unenhanced eyebrows.

People who have their eyebrows ‘done’ kindly leave reviews for stickybeaks like me to pluck apart (if you’ll excuse the reference).

Here is a small sample:

‘She knows my eyebrows so much that I’ve never had to ask for any changes.’ It never occurred to me that a stranger could come to know one’s eyebrows in such intimate detail. Other body parts … maybe. But eyebrows?

‘I had my brows done by Taylah a few days ago for the first time … So happy with my new brows …blah blah’ and this one: ‘I highly recommend Sherrill for an eyebrow shape’. Or ‘Krystal is amazing and very professional’

So, I’ve learned that all beauticians are called Krystal, Taylah or Sherrill. Note to self: If you want to become an ‘eyebrow technician’ change your name or at least come up with a new spelling.

This comment intrigued me too: ‘I’m so glad I took the risk to try somewhere and something new!’ No, Sharon. That would be bungee jumping in the Galapagos or public speaking in the Sydney Opera House. Not having your eyebrows ‘transformed’.

A lot of reviews gush that ‘It looks natural!’ No it doesn’t. It’s a grotesque parody of the natural eyebrows that were bestowed upon you by your genes.

Why oh why can’t we women be satisfied with our natural gifts? What is the attraction of all the plucking and painting, the lifting and separating, the lengthening and extending that social media seems to encourage us to do?

Is it any wonder young women suffer body dysphoria – this terrible unease and distaste for their own bodies?

Mothers – please encourage your daughters to love their bodies as the amazing machines they are. These machines are strong and diverse. They can attract a mate, make a baby, heave large bags of shopping, hammer nails, ride a bike a hundred kilometres, lead a multinational company, soothe a friend in need, create a vege patch, write a song and bake sourdough bread.

There is so much more to being a woman than eyebrows.